Monday, 23 November 2015

A Dawn to Darkness



Genre: Fiction


The old man in a dirty hooded raincoat, was trudging along slowly, bent with the effort of carrying a large burlap sack on his back. Phlegm laden cough racked his entire body at intervals, releasing puffs of vapor from his mouth. The miserable weather spell didn’t seem to let up. It had been grey skies with chilly winds and rain all week long. He paused at intervals, gently laying down his burden to catch his breath, and proceeded again. He had a long way to go to the railway station, at the village outskirts. No vehicles were about at this hour, that he could hitch a ride on.

The milkman, on his morning rounds earlier than usual, made him out through the thin mist, a solitary selcouth figure along the sleepy village alley. He was surprised to see anyone about at this early hour, given the hostile weather. He wondered idly whether it could be one of the tradesmen from the town here to sell his wares at the Sunday Village Fair. They seldom wandered the streets this early, and most pushed carts with their wares to the Village Market. This one seemed quite old, by his gait and definitely seemed to be carrying a load. He should enquire to ascertain the nature of the stranger’s presence at this hour, but he was already pressed for time. Thirty more deliveries to be made and he had to make it sooner than his usual speed. He had promised his son a treat trip to the Fair, and he couldn’t afford to be late. He dreamily rode past the old man his mind imagining his son’s excited face when he would buy him his first pull-along toy at the Fair today.

The old man slid down his hood and a rasping chuckle ensued. What an irony it was, the only person he should encounter be the one, whose most precious belonging was in his possession now! Collecting this last one from this obscure village had been a cinch he mused.





Saturday Word Play 8: Selcouth

Selcouth-(Archaic) Uncommon, Strange 


#SaturdayWordPlay -Weekly word prompts of forgotten words, being revived by my friend Aditi Kaushiva, the brain behind this interesting initiative!



Copyright © 2015 KALA RAVI

25 comments:

  1. Wow! Spooky! Excellent play of words :)

    P.S. Love the new look of your blog. Very classy :)

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    1. My dear!!! Thank you so much. Means a lot coming from you! Looking forward to many more such exotic prompts from you :)

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  2. Hey nice one ! Reminded me of a story I saw years ago on Malgudi Days :).
    Just a thought, I think 338 words would be a little too many for flash fiction. I would recommend reading posts with #flashfiction on Twitter and find out.

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    1. Thanks for the inputs pal! Malgudi days was a lovely serial! Book even better. And thanks for dropping by :)

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  3. Oh god. I hope it doesn't mean what I think it means, but I am sure that is what it means. :/ :P

    P.S. I like the new look. :)

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  4. You made my day Shantala. Glad the story creeped you out...ha ha ha ;). Thanks dear!

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    1. OMG!!! I am soo, sooo happy!!! Thank you soo much for visiting my blog sir. This is my first attempt at creeping people out with my writing ;) Thanks again. This means much!

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  6. Reminds me of the chilly winters of North India...with a spooky touch.
    Beautiful!

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    1. Hey Alok. Great to see I spooked you! Ha ha...glad to have you here. Thanks :)

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  7. Wow. Spooky stuff there.

    Nicely written, though. :)

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  8. Appearances can be deceptive.

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    1. Yes definitely. Thanks for dropping by Purba :)

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  9. New look?? nice :-) And a great piece, Kala!!
    Cheers, Archana - www.travelwitharchie.com

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    1. Hey Archie. Glad you enjoyed. Thanks for dropping by :)

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  10. Wicked old man I will say.
    Well written.

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    1. Yes very wicked! Thanks Indrani. Means much coming from you.

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  11. Oh wow! That first paragraph is so vivid! And a gripping rest of the story. Am I right in thinking the old man is Death? Kudos, Kala!

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    1. Hmm...if you feel....sure why not! I was thinking of child snatchers/kidnappers. Thanks Hema :)

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  12. Creepy! Is the old man the God of Death? Or a kidnapper?

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    1. Definitely creepy! An evil old child-snatcher. Thanks Rekha :)

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  13. Wow nice fiction. he seems to be the backpack thief, i suppose.
    u have perfect hold on language

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